Single in Saint Louis: Wedding Saga

I love you Emily Post Wedding Etiquette Book Version 5 from the LIBRARY!!!

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:55:03 GMT

Fiancee and I made a date to the library. I haven't been the library in ages (Law libraries are exempt from this comment). With all this new fangaled internet stuff I felt like the place was kind of ancient and was dreading Mr. Dewey Decimal and his good friend Card Catalog. But I wanted a bridal book, and fiancee wanted a cd to see if he liked it without having to pay for it. I was AMAZED at the state of the nouveau public library. First, the library has sneakily integrated with the internet to allow you to check out books online so long as you are willing to pick them up at the actual library. Think Amazon.com without the shipping or price. Second, they have cds, current movies (most of which are sitting in my netflix account), free internet access, and all the specialties that libraries have always had like books and magazines and stuff. I can't believe people don't go here anymore! This place is awesome!

Fiancee and I scoured the aisles amazed at our new found favorite place in the whole world. And I thought of my matron of honor's suggestion to get a copy of Emily Post's Wedding etiquette book. There it was on the shelf. This book rocks my bridal world! It has everything from invitation wording suggestions to information on dealing with family crisis and overstressed parents and in laws! It has everything a modern bride could ever want. And it said I was the average age to be getting married in the US, which hasn't seemed true given patrons at the bridal shows I have attended, but if Emily says it it must be true! So everyone who kept treating me like I was "some old hag" and saying "that everyone else was married years before me," is just wrong. I'm not . I felt a burden lift from my shoulders!

Libary dates are the best!

The Bridesmaids

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:22:25 GMT

I asked my bridesmaids to send a little note about each of them with an email I sent out. All my maids are in different states and I thought it would be nice to introduce them to each other via little note. I had to laugh when the first two I received back were my oldest friends. My cousin and my best friend from grade school. Both sparked a happiness in me. As I read each personal description, I thought about how much of myself is reflected in these two people. Each holds some part of me, and I of them. I can't wait to get the other emails. I can't wait to introduce them all to each other. As my friends from grade school said, "I can't wait to meet you all, I know there is a reason Single chose each of us as her bridesmaids." She is absolutely right. Each person was handpicked from a large group of potential options. Oh, I could have had fifty bridesmaids, but I narrowed it to seven. Seven who have withstood the ebb and flow and whom I see withstanding the ebb and flow in the future.

To some brides their bridesmaids are just their best friends. Best friends come and go. I chose bridesmaids who stood out among the best friends. These are my sisters. Every single one of them. So, much so that no matter where they go or where life takes them or what argument we get into or what path we choose, they are still going to be my very best friends. Sisters. Nothing less. I choose my sisters to stand beside me at my wedding. Whether we are related by blood, marriage, or bond these women mean more to me than any others in the world. And none means less than any other. My maids of honor are my constants. The ones who are always there, have always been there, and who I fully foresee always being there. The length of time I have known these people is unbelievable, and longevity means something in friendships.

My first Matron/Maid of Honor truly is my closest thing to a sister. She has been by my side through just about everything (via phone at least) since high school. That is thirteen years.

Maid of Honor number 2: Has been friends with me since my junior year of high school, and went through law school turmoil with me (via phone at least) I have literally not been face to face with her in six years and will see her again for the first time in person this September for her wedding, but all our friendship has done is grow. Twelve years.

Maid of Honor number 3: My cousin. Can't even start into this one. This is, in my book, my younger sister. The one I threw in a trashcan when I was little (while playing sesame street). The one that escaped with me to focus on each other while our family mourned my grandfather's death. The one who always wore the matching dress as we were growing up, of course she wore hers without the frills and lace, and did not have the requirement that the entire dress swing out straight when she spun in a circle. She is the family member who encompasses all the stuff that I am not, and I encompass all that she is not, and yet we are so similar in so many ways that I love her, exactly as a sister. Twenty-four years.

As for the bridesmaids,

There is Netty; My best friend from grade school. She brings so much joy into my life. She is truly water and I am earth and I imagine together we make a beautiful beach. She has always had a knack for going with the flow of life and is probably, most of the time, the happiest person I have ever known. Even just her email was special. I still remember meeting her in our fourth grade class. They always sat the new girl next to the nerdy smart kid. Thank god the new girl was placed next to me. I would have missed out on a great friendship. Eighteen years.

My sister in law; She has an honorary title of sister. She deserves it. It is hard to explain the relationship between sister-in-laws. Far more complicated than just regular sisters, but she is one of my favorite people. She even looks like she has always been a part of our family. She is often mistaken for being my sister and my brother being the brother in law. She adds a spice to my family that was previously not there. She points out what none of us ever noticed, and she is so freaking calm all the time. In the years I have known her I have seen her completely freak out a whole of once. Something like eleven years.

My future sister in laws (x2); These are the people who I will have the honorary title of sister-in-law with. (Please see above for nature of relationship, minus the calm part, I am not like that.) I hope I play the positive role my sister in law has played. I am sure my relationships with these women will be just as complicated, but in the end we are all family, and will be bound by marriage. Four and a half years.

I feel my choices of bridesmaids fully encompass the whole of my lifespan. Those who were with me when I was, those who are with me now, and those who will be with me in the future. I cannot add or subtract from the group. Each is so important. Each has and will continue to play a vital role in my life. These are truly the best friends among best friends, and my sisters.

Bookings

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:30:26 GMT

Finally booking the photographer and reception site probably this week. It has been an eventful weekend. Just wanted to let everyone know I still exist and didn't run away, again. I've just got a lot of work to do!!

Single

Tiffany Blue and Coral

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:14:25 GMT

Does anyone have any thoughts about these two colors together? I appreciate feedback.

The Groom Under the Tree

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 19:27:27 GMT

It was the night before Christmas eve when all through the house every creature was stirring and I was flipping through a bridal magazine I bought at the airport. “Daydreams.” I laughed, and looked at Mom. “Maybe someday that guy will propose to you.” I laughed harder. “Yeah right. I am on the naughty list this year. Santa told me. The last thing I am going to get is a groom.” Just in case, I pick up my bridal magazine and place it under the tree and discussed quickly with my mother how Santa still hasn’t brought me the puppy I have been asking for since I was 10, or the job I asked for last Christmas. I am certain I have been written off by Santa. I have been on the “bad” list for so long that Santa has even stopped bringing me coal. Coal would be a nice change.

The next morning I wake up cranky. I have been spending so much time with Boyfriend lately, I actually notice he is gone. The loneliness is a mood killer. Mom and Dad want to go shopping and not entirely to my dismay given my cranky early morning state.

“Just stay home and wait for the flower guy. He’s bringing some roses for your Aunt.” I preferred the few minutes alone I hadn't had any since I left Saint Louis or as I quoted Nelly "STL MO 31fo". I am unwilling to get out of my pajamas. I curl up on the couch with Wicked and look at my bridal magazine tucked under the tree. I call Boyfriend. No answer. I am convinced he is not talking to me. He hasn’t returned my call for two days. I am starting to get worried.

‘Ding’ the doorbell rings. I don’t move. It rings again. I go to the door. Standing there is the flower guy, the one with the roses for my Aunt. I take a step closer. He is wearing a suit. How weird. What flower guy wears a suit. I take another step. He looks familiar. It registers, Boyfriend is standing at the door with a dozen roses in a suit with a haircut! I am so happy to see him! I fling open the door and give him a big hug!

“I can’t believe you’re here!!” I am so excited, I haven’t even let him inside the door. “I just can’t believe you came! I missed you!” He begins to talk, “I missed you too. I have something to talk to you about...” I am still just too excited to see him. Literally jumping up and down at his presence like I am suddenly twelve. It is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Fly 500 miles, just to spend Christmas with me and to do it with flowers. “Single, I love you....” Past that I hear nothing he is saying. I am just happily going along in my blissful 'happy he is here' state.

“...cherish...” My brain starts to explode. He just said the word 'cherish.' Cherish is not in my vocabulary or his for that matter. I have never heard the word cherish associated with anything other than family heirlooms and weddings. Neither of which I have ever had. A quick thought spans my mind, maybe I should listen to him. I step back, he is down on one knee. I am holding the vase of a dozen roses. “Will you marry me?” The ‘yes’ came out before I really had a chance to think about it. I hugged him, shaking from adreneline. Shaking so hard I was hitting him in the back of the head with the vase. I could look down his back. I could see his hand.

There behind him in a little blue box was a ring. A single diamond on a silver toned band. The light from outside dancing on the diamond, reflecting rainbows. It looks like the perfect engagment ring. The quintessential engagement ring. I swipe the ring from the box behind his back while still hugging him.

He pushes me away gently and asks me to put the flowers on the table because his head is starting to get sore. I set down the flowers and I turn around to a nearly pale face, as if he had seen a ghost. He is looking in the ring box where the ring he has guarded with his life for 500 miles was sitting just seconds before. I let him see the shiny new piece of jewelry in the palm of my hand. “You took it! Give it here.” He steals it back. I smile. He takes it and places it on my finger. And with that and a quick trip to Starbucks with my fiancee, I was no longer single.

I have an apology to make.

Dear Santa,

Thank you for the groom. Evidently I was not on the naughty list this year as I had suspected and most likely deserved. Also, maybe I am giving you a hard time about the job. I did start my own law firm in the last year and I did pass the bar and got that contract gig. Oh, and about that puppy? It comes with the groom. What am I gonna ask for next year?

Love,
Single.